Fun At Work

It all started when I saw a little Viola flower blooming in the lawn at work.  I knew she would be mowed down by an uncaring landscaper whose only intent was to keep our grass at work exactly ¾ inches tall.  So, I carefully lifted her from the grass and planted her in the flower pot with Ted’s tomato plant.  By the way, Ted is my boss.

For two days I enjoyed watching her grow and bloom in her new Miracle Grow home.  On the third day, Ted asked me why I had planted a flower in his tomato pot.  I explained the perilous situation Viola had been in and how I had saved her life.  However, Ted seemed fixated on Viola’s potential robbing of Thomasina’s (the tomato) vital nutrients.  I assured him that I would add extra nutrients to the soil and the two plants could live in harmony, side by side.  But alas, my words went unheeded.

The next day I walked by expecting to see Viola’s happy little face, and all I saw was Thomasina.  In horror, I realized what had happened.  Immediately, I sent an email to Ted:

From: Kelly Roberts
Sent: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 3:27 PM
To: Ted
Subject: What did you do?

OMG!

You pulled up my little flower!!

From: Ted
Sent: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 3:30 PM
To: Kelly Roberts
Subject: RE: What did you do?

I killed that little tomato nutrient sucking sum bitch!

From: Kelly Roberts
Sent: Tuesday, May 03, 2011 3:37 PM
To: Ted 

You Evil Evil Little Man!!!!!

I looked everywhere, thinking that surely Ted was not so cruel and cold hearted that he could just tear a beautiful flower from the soil and discard her like a piece of trash.  Alas, I could not find her anywhere.  Sadly, I realized it was the end of Viola, and I reflected upon her beauty and visited briefly with her relatives who were scattered around the other flower beds.

The next morning I walked into my office and found this resting in my chair:

The evil culprit had taken the day off to celebrate his birthday – his life, rejoicing, while poor Viola lay in her shriveled and disheveled state.

I sent him an email stating the obvious:

From: Kelly Roberts
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2011 8:30 AM
To: Ted 

You are an Evil Evil Man!

Determined that we would remember Viola, and not let this injustice pass without notice, I gathered the troops.  Together Amy, Katina and I made a memorial for Our Dear Viola.

The next morning, Ted walked in the door to this:

Viola's Memorial

The open casket - Her Final Resting Place

Katina read the beautiful and touching Eulogy:

Our Dear Sweet Violet.  Your death at the hands of a corporate undertaker has prevented your full potential.  Your death has affected the lives of insomniacs, victims of migraines, and burn victims.  One more shall suffer from insomnia.  One more shall suffer from burns and migraines.  Although One thought she was a sucker of life, she was a healer of life.  If only ignorance had taken the time to know our Sweet Violet.  In honor of her memory, it is our duty to protect her family that will grow on this property so Viola Ordorata's memory shall live on.

It was a beautiful service.