Free... Free At Last!

So… it’s over.  

Finally.

Last night I went to my 17 year old niece’s graduation.  

I was a stranger surrounded by family members.  

My sister and her husband were having a party for Brianna 

that I wasn’t invited to.  

My mother started telling me about a trip the whole family is going on, to scatter my Grandmother’s ashes.
That was a little awkward.

Halfway through the story she realized her faux pas that the "whole family" was doing something this important – the whole family 

except me. 

Oops! No one invited me.

I sat in the bleachers behind my family who were surrounded by their friends.  

Friends they didn’t introduce me to.  

I was ignored by other family members – with not so much as a head nod in my direction to acknowledge my existence.  

I sat there on the bleachers, staring at this shrinking woman who gave birth to me, a woman I know and yet don’t know at all, and I wondered, 

Why am I still here?  

Brianna is graduating and going to college.  Taylor has dropped out of school at 16.  The kids are now adults by my standards.  

Why am I still here?  

These people don’t know me.  They don’t need me.  They don’t even care about me unless it serves them.  Why am I still here?

I did my final duties for Brianna and left these people behind me.

I’m done.  

I no longer have to bear the pain of my family so I can be a part of my sister and her children's lives.  

I’m free.  

I can walk away and leave the pain of my family behind me.  

I’m free!